I met Pilgrim in September of 2016, when Misty Meadows was transitioning to a non-profit horse center. He was a retired senior statesman, having lived on the farm long before it was donated. I joined the executive director Sarah McKay and other staff members to walk through one of the pastures and talk to the horses that were living there as a herd. As I approached Pilgrim and decided to connect with him first, he cut through all my preparations, and I heard his voice in my head as clear as day. “I’m already a wise soul and I’m sort of in charge.” I quickly asked him to tell me more. “I watch over everybody and am aware of everything that’s going on. I may not have my head up watching or appear anxious, but I’m quietly aware of it all. I love it here and I love the people taking care of me. I think the people and the horses here are on sacred ground, and there is an overall blessing that has allowed this riding center and myself to be here. I am part of why the Kenney family gifted this property. They loved me so much and they got so much from me, and other horses, but specifically me, that they felt they had more to give. I wasn’t a hassle, I was a pleasure.”
He continued so I just kept translating, “I actually see myself as a big participant in this place. I especially feel a kinship and responsibility for the kids. I could help you more than I do and more than you have in mind. With the little ones, I’m the kind of horse that is like a stepstool. You can trust me to put a little one on a stepstool and let him or her get used to the feeling of being around a big, big animal. I would stand still for them. Also you could be very comfortable bringing a very small child out into the pasture with me, putting that child on my back, and allowing him or her to feel what it’s like to straddle a big horse. You could show them that there’s a natural friendship. Kids that have tactile needs, kids with anxiety and nonverbal kids could all be physically close to me. I’m not eager to be ridden. I’m more like a grandfather and a gentleman. I’m the kind of horse who could wander around the property because I won’t go anywhere or make trouble. I would greet everyone and be harmless. I’m not and have never been a problem.”
After a stunned silence, I asked the group of people around me if anyone had any questions. Someone suggested asking him about his physical health. He showed me that his knees were sore but not terribly uncomfortable. He was also tight in the vertebrae above his tail, and he instructed us to pull on his tail every once in a while to give him a good stretch. (I did that immediately, and he appeared to love it) I also felt some minor achiness in one of his legs just about the hoof. As final comments, Pilgrim said, “I love massage and I consider myself low maintenance.”
I came to find out later that Pilgrim, now somewhere between 30-35 years old, had indeed been a pleasure all his life. He was raised on a sheep farm out West and his owner rode him bareback over hilly, windswept pastures among the sheep. Carol Kenney purchased him in 1999 as a safe and dependable 10-15 year old trail horse. During the next 20 years, Pilgrim lived at Misty taking Carol on summer trail rides until 2006 and then was retired.
Over a year later, Sarah wanted to make sure Pilgrim was happy and I visited him again. He started off talking very philosophically, “I’m moving around well and physically feeling good, but I’m not sure I have that much longer to live. I sometimes just want to lie down and go to sleep. I’m not unhappy but I can feel the time coming in terms of being at peace with passing if it comes to that. I feel like I’ve done my job of having continuity and helping and having a steady presence. I’ve been a part of the past and feel proud of the legacy I see myself having. I’ve been well loved by a lot of people through my whole life and been respected and cared about. I’m proud of my role as a calm and good influence. I’m a statesman type of horse.”
I felt a bit of dread as I looked at Sarah. Would she be upset at his comments about the end of his life? She looked calm, so I continued to listen and tell her what I was hearing. Pilgrim’s next words were, “I really don’t like change. I’m a little pensive about moving to the next property.” It turns out that Sarah needed to move some of the horses to an adjacent farm and Pilgrim was on the list. I asked him why he was pensive. “I like to watch the comings and goings and to be a part of things here. It’s busy and fun. I could move and I’m willing to go but I’m not excited to go. If it has to happen, as a mentor to other horses, I would prefer if you move the other horses first and move me after everyone else is settled so I don’t have to be part of the newness. I would prefer to go when everyone already knows what they’re doing. I’m not really ready for the turmoil of having things set up over there. Also it’s easier to move in the spring when the warm weather is coming and that would be kinder to me. I like being kept warm and appreciate the warm blankets you have kept me in.”
Sarah thanked Pilgrim for his thoughts and said she would take them into account. It was time to go, so I asked Pilgrim if there was anything else he wanted to add. He said that he still wanted to be groomed by the kids as a demo horse and used for unmounted trainings because he likes the interaction and the kids. We said our goodbyes and in my head, he bowed.
Several times in the following months, I had brief conversations with Pilgrim. He was now living at the adjacent barn, and Sarah had arranged for a mother and two children to visit him regularly. They groomed him and gave him treats, and he reported being very content although he continued to have typical aging aches and pains. Over time, the kids got busy with other activities and the visits were less frequent. Pilgrim told me that he was stiff and asked if someone could take him for walks. Carol heard his request and started visiting him every day. She grooms him, takes him on a walk to the State Forest, and gives him plenty of treats and love. It’s rumored she got her children’s families involved and that there has been ample use of Showsheen and other fancy grooming products so Pilgrim looks his best. He is thrilled and Carol reports he is moving better every day. As I look back, I wonder if Pilgrim’s earlier thoughts about the end of his life were more because of his fear of moving than from an actual premonition.